NEVER AGAIN shall I go out with my parents.

I swear to God, I cannot do shit with my parents. They just don't know what the fuck they want or what the hell they're doing. It's very sad I tells ya. A week ago, they were telling me how we were going to go to Quebec and visit an art museum. I'm like "Alright! This'll be fun!"

We never went. :| Because my mother wasn't feeling well and thought that strawberry picking might be better. I then tell her "Why would you want to go strawberry picking? You have to work for that. In a museum you don't even do anything, you just walk around and appreciate art." She just stared at my blankly because she's a fucking idiot as we all know it.

So today they tried to redeem themselves by going downtown Montreal to see the Jazz Festival. I decided to go because I love music and the city. So I go there right? and it takes fucking long to do shit because my mother is like a peeing machine. The sad thing is that we have to always follow her to wait for her because she's afraid of going by herself. I told her "Mom, you're an adult. Why can't you go alone? I want to stay and listen to the music."

GAHHHH... and she just forces me to come with her. She's effin' retarded.
And my dad just looks stupid because he's always following my mom's orders. It's sad, really.

The only good thing about this day is... WAIT THERE ISN'T ANYTHING GOOD. THIS DAY SUCKED.

In the end all we did was briefly listen to one tiny show and went to China town for nothing. I hate them. Wasted my fucking time.

When we got home, my parents told me to look at my report card. I passed everything so far. All I have to do is wait for the Minister report card and I'll be good. :D

Of course my idiot of a father didn't understand shit. I explained him many times and yet he yells me for talking to him as if he were a moron. It's because is he a moron. So can he kiss my ass. Fucking faggot.

Afterwards I called my boyfriend asking him to come with me downtown because my parents actually said yes... yet he said no. He can't because he needs to purchase books for his summer school lessons. I was very sad. I wanted to make his last day a memorable one by spending time with him downtown Montreal. I was so sad that I started crying on my pillow... I really want to see him.

I don't want it to end

I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.

I love you too much for it to end.

あなたがここにいる理由

Now that I listen to this song I finally realize how much I truly love you. This song just sends me back to that time where snow would fall, we were getting to know each other and I would stare at you at a distance as you went inside your bus wearing that gorgeous winter coat of yours.

Despite getting in arguments, I just can't see myself without you. I don't care if we argue all the time. I rather be with you than anyone else because I know deep down you'll love me no matter what. I mean, you just can't stay angry at someone who'll always love you. Time can't make this love fade away, it only makes it stronger.

You may have felt like it was dying, but I begged to differ. I don't have any doubts about us, I can't have any doubts. If a day came where you would see yourself leaving me, tell yourself this: I'd never let you hear the end of it. Why? Because I love you so much. I don't want you to leave me for issues that can be solved by expressing how we feel. We didn't spend all this time together to just throw it all away. We're different from other couples, I know we are.

These songs I listen to just help me think and express myself. I love them and they truly speak to me. I cried a lot tonight and I don't even know why. But I know that there is always somewhere solid for me. I go through rough times and in the end, it all works out. I don't know how, it just happens. I guess that's how life is for me. Together, we can build a beautiful life, future, and family. Wouldn't that be nice? We talked about it so much already, why not make it a reality in a few years?

I love you...

3 in the morning...

Listening to music and nothing more. I missed staying up late and doing things I long to do during the day. It's nice and quiet and the perfect time to play The Sims 2. I started a Legacy Challenge and I am quite pleased with the great start that I got! It's going to be great. :3

My boyfriend is amazing. He photoshopped one of our prom pictures and the moment I saw it all fear, sadness and anger I had just went away for a good 5 minutes. It's probably the most beautiful picture I've seen in my life. (so far)

It's flawless I tell ya! FLAWLESS!

Thank you so much~

I hope I lose contact with my parents in the near future.

And I'm not saying that for the heck of it. I'm saying it because I realize how much they don't trust me with my boyfriend. They have no respect for who I am dating and of course who I plan to spend the rest of my life with. They basically laugh at our love. It annoys me. I asked them many times to be honest with me but they keep on hiding their true feelings through lame ass punishments and restrictions.

I long to be free from their grip. My mother hasn't seen her parents in 20 years and not by choice. But I am making this choice and I know that it's for the best because I know that I don't want people who don't support this relationship to attend my wedding. My older brother on the other hand is more than welcome to stay in my life. We've been through a lot but hey now that he's 20 years old, has a job and many hobbies I can see that he really does care and support me. I love him so much.

LOL NO SCHOOL

Today was great, there was no school due to the storm that caused a major blackout in many neighborhoods. Mine wasn't affected though.

We walked around, swam in his pool and did I mention that I got a sexy haircut? :D I love it and so do my friends! AND HIM OF COURSE. ;D He kept saying that I was sexy, gorgeous, beautiful... it was nice to hear! I love it when he looks at me with those lovely eyes of his.

While I was in his pool, he was cleaning it and he looked so handsome! I don't know how to say it, there was something about him that looked so great. Well, I think that he always looks great! he just can't accept the truth.

I love you baby, I don't see why you have to hold back, you can touch me, kiss me and hold me however you want. Just remember to balance talking/appreciating and the sexual stuff! ;)

My sweetheart.... ♥

Oh God, how I miss him so! I can't stop thinking about him, he's just too important to me now. We've been through so much together, good and bad! The bond is stronger than ever and will continue growing as we learn more about each other with every passing moment of love and endearment.

Today was a pain for me, I can't spend a day without him...
It may sound corny, but now I know how it feels to be away from someone you love so much!
I can't even sleep right now, I just can't stop thinking about him! AHHHHH, THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE! I WANT TO BE IN HIS ARMS! D:
I know that he came over this evening for an hour and 15 minutes, but that didn't suffice!

All I have been doing today is suffer under the scorching heat and listening to あなたがここにいる理由 by Rie fu. It's the same song that I wouldn't stop listening to when I first met him and started falling in love with him. I guess I'm falling in love with him again seeing as I am constantly playing it! It's just a beautiful piece of musical art. The melody, the beat, the atmosphere...

I miss you so much.

'CAUSE THIS IS THRILLERRRRR D:<

I never actually took the time to listen to Michael Jackson's music, but now that I have I realize how amazing he is. He's made such a great contribution to the world of music, hell.. art in general! The dancing, the singing, the style of his clothes and hair! He's truly iconic and remains one of the greatest artists to have ever walked the earth.

My favorite song by him would most likely be Beat It. I love the guitar riffs and that superb solo that can be heard at the bridge of the hit single. The energy in his vocals are quite bone chilling as well.

It's a shame that he doesn't release new material. Despite that fact, his music never gets old and can be heard anywhere and are recognized in an instant!

SATURDAY?

Yesterday it was hot, sunny and boy did I sure have fun at my boyfriend's house! His family was present and they were quite nice. I met his father for the first time and I think he's a gregarious fellow. At first I was obviously nervous, fearing that I might screw things up but all went well! :)

My boyfriend got a haircut by his older brother and I have to say... HE LOOKS GRRREEEEAT!~
Makes him look manlier, more powerful. Hell, I was intimidated at first. O__O;; Afterwards he showed me something quite special. I was being my shy self again, but I eventually got over it pretty fast. My gestures towards it made him quite happy! WELL I HOPE YOU WERE HAPPY. I felt like I was doing it all wrong. AHHH WELL... XD

Later on in the afternoon, we swam together in his lovely heated underground pool! It was quite refreshing! I didn't swim for a long period of time, I feel like there's some catching up to do! I loved it when he held me from behind...

AHHH

Today is the day that I do my French debate. I AM NERVOUS.. OH MY GOD... HOW NERVOUS I CAN BE! if I screw this up I won't graduate. THERE'S SO MUCH FUCKING PRESSURE HERE. It's kill me actually! D:

I'm praying to God that I do well, so well that I PASS! I know the subject, I know what to say, I'm just worried that when the time finally comes to answer those badly formulated questions I'll forget what to say. THIS IS KILLING ME, JUST THE THOUGHT OF IT!

*NERVOUSNERVOUSNERVOUSNERVOUS*

*dies*

X___x

Day 2

Day 2 meaning day 2 with no Gaia. I honestly feel better now that I'm ceasing all visits to that site. I'll obviously be coming back and have a different approach on it.

Today is going to be a nice school day but after that I'll be doing many things for Friday! I have the work on the French debate, my history paper, study for a math and FPS exam and prepare a presentation for FPS too. @__@ Will I do any of it? Uh... sure why not. Seeing as I don't go on Gaia Online anymore, I'll have enough time to do them all.

This is my plan for this evening:

4:30 PM to 5 PM: Begin work on history paper
5:30 PM to 6 PM: Finish work on history paper
8 PM to 9 PM: Work on French debate

WOW. THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN. Seriously. I'm actually looking forward to seeing if I can pull this crap off. I'll try to get ahead at school (if I can), that'd be great actually. I really hope I can finish all of this.

Last night scared me

I did something wrong.
Careless and wrong.
I wasn't being considerate or honest with myself.
Fake, faggot, stupid, dumb, oblivious, ignorant can describe the lewd demeanor that I opted last night. He was being trenchant and he wasn't going let anything stay in his mind. All was coming out and no feelings were spared. After much effort and consideration, a discussion emerged and a rather good problem solving was the conclusion. I was still sad. I was angry at myself. Once again, I let the one person I'd give away my life for down. I just love him so much. He really knows how to take good care of me. I feel like the more time I spend with him the more I become a better person. I learn so many valuable lessons with him, it's amazing really. He truly makes me try harder to better my disposition in life.

January 12th, 2008

"An Evening to remember" is all I can say to myself. I kissed him many times and I enjoyed every single moment of it. At first it left me unemotional, I felt nothing inside of me, no feeling of right or wrong but after the first I felt more into it and very pleased. As we kissed, I noticed how soft his lips were, it felt very comforting.

I wrote that small message in my diary January 12th, 2008. I remember that night so well because it was the very first time I actually experienced my first romantic kisses. Now that I look back on it, I realize how much improvement has come upon my way of kissing. The one who receives them as told me himself that I've gotten much better and that truly eases the mind. Knowing that I kiss well is a pretty neat thing. I don't have to worry about not making him feel good and obviously, loved!

You know what, he kisses quite well himself! ;)

Paul's Case Thesis

*This is my thesis that I wrote for my English class, I got 100% on it. :D I was very pleased about that. It was predicated on the short story entitled Paul's Case by Willa Cather.


Paul's Case proved to be compelling story of one boy's dream life and the consequences that came with it. He was obsessed with money, truly believing that money is all that there is for the world to endlessly struggle for. Believing this plausible theory led the poor boy to a world of fame and riches for a brief period of time. He was intoxicated by the sheer delight of a high class life. One can imagine that life is nothing more than a game but when money is the main goal one would do just about anything to earn a victory. Of course in Paul's Case he cheats his way through by stealing money to escape the life that he loathed. His runaway plan to New York City allowed him to finally experience his deepest fantasies until the end of his days.

Paul's thought "This was what all the world was fighting for, he reflected, this was what all the struggle was about." invites one to ponder is true meaning. Why does one attend their classes? To learn? To better their knowledge? The latter can be taken into consideration, but there is the evident conclusion that school is only in the existence for future money making. Without a proper education, one can find it difficult to earn some cash. Paul couldn't picture himself without luxurious things surrounding him. His mind could not comprehend that a life based on artificial belongings wasn't the greatest choice.

He never appreciated what he already had. It was all meaningless to him because a poor amount of money was involved.

I've come to realize that I highly enjoy typing (even though I'm not fast and agile like most). I hope this blog keeps me happy and considerably occupied for a while. I have nothing better to do.

School is coming to a close and the summer air is gently settling in. Many eager students desire for the school year to end as quickly as possible and I think their wish is coming true. Classes today were cut short due to a power surge causing a vast amount of students to scream (they were just being tiny jokers) I was a bit scared, I thought something awful was going to occur. Of course, there was nothing else to dramatize the dark scenery. It was just pitch black and nothing more. A bit boring after a certain while, I find. We then all went outside and waited for the message we've all wanted to hear "Go inside and take your belongings, school is dismissed."

You know, this is the second time school is dismissed in the afternoon at the end of the school year. I'm wondering if anything in this particular fashion will once again occur to complete our little trilogy of minor school dramas. I do find it a bit exciting when everyone is outside wondering what the bloody hell is going on! xD

Now that I think about it, if something else does happen what will become of those who missed exams? or presentations? Will they make us do those after our final exams? If I don't get a chance to do my presentation in FPS then I'll have to do it Friday after my final French exam (that'll be a joy to do -- NOT)

I have to say, I'm really enjoying this whole blog thing. It's fun to type and to explore how we voice our opinions. :)