The holidays are coming!

I am so happy. Setting up Christmas trees, listening to classic holiday songs and best of all getting all excited for the big day!

My first act of giving happened yesterday. I gave my boyfriend a video game for his 17th birthday. Can't wait to get him his X'mas present. Ahhhh, it's going to be the best Christmas ever. I HOPE, FUCK.

I better make a wish list soon. If only my parents weren't so cheap.

This is for you

They met at the Rockefeller Center in New York City. They were both visiting their families for the holiday season. When they saw each other, it was as if everything that was so wrong with their world would just melt away. They soon fell in love. As the years passed by they would share many memories together. He proposed, she said yes and they were on their way to living the American dream. She thought she would have the perfect life she had always dreamed of. Guess again sweetheart. Her husband started coming home late. He blamed work for his total lack in social graces. He stopped spending time with her, all he would do is go out and get drunk at a local pub. She would cry incessantly, all alone in her bedroom while watching some sad movies.

How could this of happened? Was marriage the downfall of their wonderful relationship? She wanted to know what she was doing wrong, she really did. The poor man kept telling her that she was fine just the way she is. He never got why she was being such a pain, such an emotional burden. Then it hit her, he was with someone else. Secretly, shamelessly, unabashedly. Why would he lie to her face? She saw him with that other woman at Grand Central. He was waiting for her. The New Year was just around the corner and it seems he was ready to celebrate twice. Nice going.

She was furious! Blinded with rage, she raced home by taking the subway and a taxi. She entered their pent house and waited for him. When he finally arrived home, late once again, she asked him what he wanted for dinner. He replied with roasted turkey. She got up and went in the kitchen only to get the very thing that will kill him. With a firm grip on the rock solid turkey that was kept in the freezer for weeks, she walked up to her sneaky little bastard of a husband and gave him a blow to the head with so much force that he fell on the floor only to lie there motionless. He was dead. Dead like the love they once shared.

Happy Halloween!

Well, it's been an entire month where I have gone and posted NOTHING! and that's cool because that means I wasn't bored enough to do so. I post this today letting myself know that this blog isn't dead.

My parents just came back from a month long trip to South Korea, Hong Kong and the Philippines. They brought me some cute stuff from the Narita airport in Japan. ^ ^ I have to say, my parents looked rejuvenated when they got home, especially my mother. I'm so happy for them, I hope they take more trips like this because they really deserve it! I suggested Europe, but my dad said that it would be too expensive. Maybe they could do just one country instead of visiting 3.

I'm so lucky to have him...

It's important to have someone to go to when you're sad. Because that someone has the power to make those sad feelings just melt away...

My boyfriend is a wonderful person, he just knows how to make me feel good about myself. He's so smart and thoughtful. His words and gentle ways are the cure to my sorrow. He really is my hero.

Thank you bbcakes. I promise not to cry anymore! Well, for a while anyways. xD;;

Well fuck, he was right.

Right about what? I'll tell you...

I HATE IT MAN. I fucking hate it. Working at that hell hole is like working with the bitchiest people alive. It's not the costumers, it's the co-workers. They're all French-Canadian faggots who walk and talk big just to make you feel unwanted. God. Sure, I have my classmates who are totally cool and friendly but fuck, I can never really talk to them because fatty over there keeps going "WUT THE HELL YOU DOIN' OVER THAR." Then she has the nerve to give me her ugly ass look. GOD GOD GOD.

Also, asking a question is like the worst thing to do! All I did was ask semi-pertinent questions (I'm kinda slow, see) and all that bitch did was look at me as if I was some grade A moron. She's such a passive aggressive fucktard.

Working at the cash register is fine. In fact, it's fun. I know it's fun, well fuck, it's going to be fun once I remember ALL the goddamn codes for the fruits and vegetables. God bless my mother who uses those vegetables that you French-Canadian bastards never even heard of. "UHHH WUTS THIS?!" IT'S FREAKING CHINESE LETTUCE YOU NUB.

So yeah, the person who asked that question was this girl who was FUCKING UGLY! OH MY GOD! UGLIEST BITCH ALIVE I TELLS YA! She was a little know-it-all with her "I worked at Rona... so I kinda know wut to do." She acted like she was better than me, which is true, but fuck... YOU DON'T NEED TO THROW IT IN MY FACE! I swear... one day, we're going to get into an argument. A heated one. Ohhhh yesssss... No physical violence is wanted. I'm too weak and frail. Srsly.

The other girl was this lovely Algerian sweetheart. I thought she was pretty and damn... SHE HAS THEM TATAS! :D Too bad the work uniform is totally unflattering. So staring is out of the question. :( She was a newbie like me and we complained together. Thank God. I needed someone to complain to. Like my boyfriend. I'll call him later.

But uh yeah, I hate the people who work there. Like, this fat bitch with lonnnng red hair and blond highlights didn't really tie her hair in a ponytail. Us newbies we're told that it's IMPORTANT to keep your hair tied if it's long. Did she do it? Fuck no. Did she listen to me when I told her to do it? Fuck no. Was she a bitch to me for the rest of the day? Fuck yes. It's okay, now I know what kind of person she is.

Another thing I'd like to address: WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE SO FUCKING UGLY IN THE STORE. Like, there are only 2 decent guys, and 3 decent girls. Yes, I'm including myself. I think I'm decent, if you think otherwise then go to hell. :| I really hate them, man. I really do. I REALLY REALLY DO. No I won't bring a gun and shoot everyone up. That's just stupid and totally not fair. I'll just deal with it and bitch them out when I quit. Okay maybe I won't bitch them out but fuck... it's tempting. It really is o_o

ONE LAST THING!!! I wanna work in a clothes store. D: Seriously. I know fashion, I breathe it, I live it.. I WEAR IT (duh) and I EAAAAT IT. YUM YUM YUMMMMMM

3 things to say.

Just a little update on my exciting life...

First of all, Jennifer, that little bitch will no longer be part of my life. The other night I decided to end things bluntly without giving her a chance to retort. I told her she was scum and that it would be best if she stayed the hell out of my life. I immediately blocked and deleted that bitch. Thank God.

Second of all, my boyfriend came to my house early in the morning yesterday. It was such a wonderful thing! We got to spend 12 hours together, living together... it was so nice. We cooked together as well. Sure it wasn't the best meal, but the time we had preparing it was so great!

THIRD OF ALL... I GOT A JOB!!!! FUCK YEAH. My boyfriend is worried that we won't have a social life anymore, don't worry sweetie, I'll keep in touch. I promise. I'll keep this relationship alive. I'll try very hard to spend time with you. I know I can do it.

Do I still have friends?

I guess now I understand why people cry at the end of high school. I saw my friends yesterday and I felt so alienated. It was so wrong. I just wanted to leave. Jennifer is a little bitch, Sarah is the same (thank god), Nelisa has always been cool and sweet and Caitlin was so nice to talk with...

but in the end... IT DIDN'T FEEL GOOD. It's like they all grew up without me, they're so different now. Well, it's my fault, I know it's my fault. I screwed up, again. XDDDD Ahhh... what are we going to do with me. Hmm?

Maybe I'll make new friends, MAYBE. I don't know.

I'd really love to hangout with them at the cinema or at a restaurant. That'd be awesome. But I know that it won't happen! Man, I'm suuuuuuch a loser. Maybe if I wasn't so emo last August I would've bothered seeing people.

Miley Cyrus cannot sing live. I have proof. :\

I'll keep it short and simple: Miley Cyrus can't sing well live. She's horrible and ruined a really nice song. If any of you remember that one hour program called Stand Up to Cancer then surely you must of all heard her atrocious voice as she sang along side today's top female singers.

Watch and listen in horror at how awful she is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr5mvNPyV1I

Seriously, she's the worst out of them all. Don't deny it.

ANOTHERRR LONELY NIGGGHT

Oh yeah, it's going to be a lonely one. Look at me, gushing away from what could be fun, well not this time. You know I'm looking forward to that get together. I hope Nel can actually pull it off. I really want to hang out with everyone. I don't care if they're losers. I'm fucking lonely, okay?

But soon, I'll be fine, because you're coming back to me soon. Really soon, I can already feel you there beside me.

90210 = Worst New Show of Fall 2008

I'm not one to hate on teen dramas seeing as I watch them all the time (Gossip Girl being my favorite) but wow, 90210 is terrible. The characters are bland and generic. The only people who are interesting are the adults. The teenagers are boring as fuck and the plot feels like it's going absolutely NOWHERE.

Girl: "Are you breaking up with me?"
Guy: "I'm breaking up with us."

WTF IS THAT?

Urges.

Ever since I had that sex dream, I've had this uncontrollable urge to do naughty things with my boyfriend. It's driving me nuts. I want to see him so FUCKING BADLY! I've been very impatient all day long, waiting for something to soothe my desire. He's not online, so that's making things harder for me to cope with. I also have this troublesome headache that just won't go away unless I go rest my body on my lovely bed. ughhhhhh...

In other news, I've been looking into the whole Twilight book series. The fact that it's a love story got my attention but the moment I read the draft for the latest installment of the series, I just felt repulsed at how it was written. I don't care if it's a draft, it sucks.

Oh well, that won't be stopping me from reading the first book. I need to see what the fuss is all about. I've always wanted to read a book that was heavily trashed!

Candice

Candice was a sweet girl. She grew up being a straight A student and had two close friends named Kati and Elise. She aspired to become a lovely news reporter or something cool like that. She knew that someday her dreams would come true and that she would go live in the city, away from the suburban life that she despises. Kids here don't particularly care about being good or becoming a valedictorian. All they live for are the joys of life! Which to them means: sex, drugs and outrageous parties supplied with alcohol and endless teen drama. Thankfully, Candice wasn't part of all that shit. She stayed away from those nasty crowds. She didn't want to end up like those losers with no futures. Her mother also made sure that she hanged out with the right people.

It was the first day of school and the teacher had already given them an assignment. Candice and her girlfriends were all in the same grade, grade 9. They were very excited to get started on their homework. It was simply a report on what you did this summer. Easy right? Of course it is. Candice knew that it was just some ploy to get to know your students a bit better. Teachers don't really do that anymore, apparently this one still does it. How corny of him. His name was Mr. Owells. He never gave out his first name. No one knew why. But if word ever got out, then he'd be pretty pissed off at whoever scattered the news around. Some think that it's some nasty word and Candice believes that it's Dick. Not the prettiest of names, but it's better than not having one at all!

Lunch break was over and it was time to return to class. Candice was in a hurry and the only hallway that she could take that wouldn't make her arrive late is pass through the one where all the people she loathed hung out. Some called them the Mean Kids, others called them the sluts with no lives. Either way, they were bad people and if you dressed like a loser they would make sure that you knew.

"Hey... wutchu' doin' here?" said one sleazy boy while holding a cigarette.
"Uhm... you're not supposed to smoke indoors." Candice regretted saying.
"Oh really? WELL WHO FUCKING CARES!?" he said, as he threw a fit.

Candice was scared, she wanted to leave, but the boy was so tall and dangerous looking. He approached her and spat on her gorgeous clear skin face.

"Get out of here, you ugly bitch." he said as he walked back to his spot, leaning on a locker that wasn't his. He probably always made fun of the person who wanted to get to their locker. Oh those kids were mean, very very mean. She hated them so much. SO SO much.

Candice left, running to class. She almost got in late. The bell rang the moment she sat down. Soon after, her friend Kati noticed a tear running down on her lovely cheek. She didn't say anything, but continued looking at her with a much concerned look in her eyes.

Her troubles with those mean kids would continue for the rest of the school year. How awful.

On a spring day, after school, Candice rushed home. She ignored her mother's pleasant greeting and headed straight to her room. She was crying. Poor thing. Her mother knocked on the door and asked her if she was okay. She screamed, proclaiming that some mean kids have been harassing her. Her mother was furious. How could someone be hurting her little girl? HOW?! That's just horrible. Her mother phoned the school demanding that these kids stop harassing her daughter. The principal had no idea such things occurred in his school. What was he? STUPID? C'mon! We live in a society where kids are cruel and teachers could care less.

The following day at school, Candice tried so hard to avoid those mean kids. But her efforts were so futile. It was pointless to try and avoid these tiny little bastards. They would come find her and terrorize her friends by calling them names, pushing them on the ground, kicking them as they tried so desperately to get up and just run away from it all. Bullying is horrible. Candice was in pain, she couldn't believe she got her friends involved! She yelled at them, hoping that they would leave her friends alone. Afraid not, sweetheart. Those teenagers will not leave you alone until they've found a new prey. You're their toy and they're going to keep playing with you. Sucks to be you.

The same boy who made a mockery of Candice pointed at her and started laughing at how pathetic she was. Boy, was she pathetic. Candice couldn't do anything about this. Her friends were crying and innocent bystanders could of cared less. They didn't want to intervene, are you crazy?! They would of gotten their asses kicked or something.

Candice was confused. Her lower lip started to tremble. She couldn't take this anymore. She rushed away from the scene. Her friends were confused. Why was she leaving? Candice just ran away. She wanted to get away from it ALL.

Her mysterious departure lasted for hours, days, weeks and then years...
She never came back. Never. How so? Where did she go? Did she die? Did she end her life? How sad. How very sad. She didn't have to run away. She could of solved her problems. There were so many ways to solve her issues. But no, all she could think about was to run away. Being a coward was her only solution. Her mother never heard from her again...

Misty Rhymes

She thought she had magical powers. Boy, was she ever wrong! The girl had been playing too much Final Fantasy these days. Summer was the time for kids to go outside and play with their school mates, instead she lured herself inside her dark and dainty room and played the endless game series from hell. HELL I TELLS YA!

Her mind was set to save the world! Who could of believed in such crazy things? This 12 year old girl kept on playing and playing and then at the tender age of 21, she realized that she'd been wasting her entire teen life on some mindless, blubbering game that had no end in sight!

"CURSE IT ALL!" she yelped.

She came out of her room, and saw the light! The light of day, the light that would shed no more dismay on her dark and lonesome days in her coffin like room. She felt trapped in there, SO SO trapped. But she was free, she set her fragile mind free!

Free to discover the beauty of the earth, the carefree jitter of birds and lovely breeze that would soon brush her hair that had not been cut in years. Her long awaited days of redemption were here! Now she could shake away any remaining lethargy in her. She was all set and then it hit her, she didn't know where to begin! She was sad, devastated and full of anger. She was angry at herself for not taking the chance to live her life to the fullest. But she knew that it wasn't too late to fulfill her dreams. Her dreams to become someone great, someone special, someone who could change the world! Or cause havoc, who cares.

So she decided to walk around the neighborhood. She then saw a boy, a boy whom she recalled was named Lance. Lance had long blond hair, he loved to tussle his hair around. He felt so sexy when we walked around with his blue shirt, unbuttoned. Misty was amazed at how confident this boy seemed. Yep, she sure was amazed. BOYYYYY was she ever amazed. She decided to go see him, sure it was totally awkward and felt like a non sequitur but it was worth it. He was confused, he didn't know why she came up to him. What the hell was this girl doing? Trying to talk her way into getting a date with this buffed up guy.

"So, will you go out with me?" she said with an alluring look in her eyes.
"Uh, why should I go out with someone like you?" he remarked.
"Becauuuuuse, I'm Misty Rhymes." she said while batting her eyelashes.
"Alright. I suppose I have nothing better to do."

Misty was pleased, very pleased. Now, all she had to do was to get ready. Misty asked her mother to help her get all dolled up for a fantastic, life moving, evening! She had a plan of her own, a plan that would make her feel ALIVE! So alive, that she would feel reborn again! Her mother will not approve of what she'll be doing to Lance, but who gives a fuck about what mom thinks?

Okay, so the night came and Misty was ready to woo Lance. Because we both know that there's no chance in hell that Lance would woo Misty.

"You look great"
"I know."
"Thanks."
"Now die."
"What?"
"haha, just kidding!"

She playfully said, in her mind. That's right. She was planning on killing the poor boy. She didn't know who he was but damn, it was time for her to feel the fun of being a true warrior, like in those Final Fantasy games she'd been playing for years and years.

After the romantic dinner and mediocre action movie, it was time to end what could of been a lovely date but she just had to ruin it. First, Misty told Lance that she had a good time. Afterward, she didn't even wait for his reply. She just pulled out a gun that she'd been saving for years to use on a real victim. Lance was confused. He didn't know what to do. WHY? WHY WAS SHE POINTING A GUN AT HIM? At his beautiful body!?

She didn't think twice about what she was about to do. BANG BANG! Poor Lance, he was bleeding and sobbing. He collapsed in the middle of road and before he could say his last words a Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution hit him! His body was crippled, his head was crushed and blood drenched the road. Misty laughed as she held her head up high! She was pure evil. PURE PURE, evil.

No god, no saint, no DEVIL could control her. She was in a category of evil no other could be part of. A sad night for Lance and triumphant one for Misty, it was.

She walked towards her house and as she crossed the street a Hyundai Genesis Coupe smacked her entire body at full speed! The driver wasn't respecting the speed limit, and so, Misty died.
Her death was quick yet very brutal.

PART WUN

Dearest lover,

I know that me being emo won't solve anything. Hell, it never did. That's why, I've decided to go on a mysterious journey. A voyage that will take me to places unknown. I'll meet the most interesting people, the strangest creatures that loom in the night. It will be dangerous at most, but I am sure that once I am through this journey, I will become a better and more fulfilling person.

It will be a long voyage, but don't worry, I'll send you letters. Only letters. No technology will accompany me. Nothing will. I'll just have the clothes I wear today and shoes that I'll be wearing tomorrow.

I don't know when I'll return. That is a mystery. I'll only come back once the time is right. Maybe I'll never come back. Who knows...

With love, mysterious dweller.

A mysterious dweller, she was. She looked down to her carpet and saw a sea of hair. She had been losing hair. At school she would ponder and a strand of her would appear on her desk. She would brush it away and would get back to her thoughts for the rest of the day.

She was ashamed of it all, not being pretty enough. Not being smart enough, NOT EVEN BEING HAPPY WITH HERSELF! She would try to act cool to fit in with the right crowd, but they never accepted her. She recalls being friends with the most popular of girls, but in the end the friendship was a lie. An evil lie. The outcome was horrid. Hazing, insults, rejection. She despised her first two years here. She couldn't even act her own age. Once, the teacher decided to present a video on sex education. She laughed. That's right. SHE LAUGHED. The other students mocked her immaturity. She was merely laughing at how stupid the video was. It was a sad day indeed, because it was the day that she realized that kids weren't going to be acting their age anymore. She was right. She now sees little 9 years olds dressing like their freaking Madonna or something like that. What the hell happened to playing with Barbies or laughing at the word penis and vagina? Are they gone? Will her kids end up like that? HELL NO.

Then middle school came along. She thought things would be much, MUCH better. Afraid not. Kids were intimating, the word sex became more and more common. Girls had tits, she did not. She felt too young to be with such a crowd. Her locker partner wasn't the friendliest of locker partners, oh well, better than being with some overweight druggie. Her teachers were nasty, the lessons were half-assed and the people were raunchy. Garbage cans on fire, food fights that brought out laughter and drama that could last forever! It was crap, as she can recall. Utter crap. Kids were cruel. A boy would harass her, claiming that she should lick his dick. It made her cry. She tried doing something about it, but ended up failing. Thinking that he would stop in the second year was futile. After a peaceful summer she heard the same asshole say the same nasty words. She was scared and feared for her safety. Thankfully though, he stopped for some odd reason. Her second year in middle school wasn't as bad as the first one. She had a close friend and neighbor around to be there for her. Now that she thinks about it, she recalls those times as very good ones. They would both sing along to Green Day songs and bash 50 Cent. It was fun, but didn't quite last.

The only thing that she can say that was good about middle school is meeting certain people. People who have grown to become her closest friends. Okay just, one girl, but at least she's someone she can always turn to for help. Another girl she met wasn't always going to be number one. But she can't deny the fact that she DID have some wonderful moments with her in the first year of high school.

High school was much different. The atmosphere, the vibe was lovely. The students were nicer, the teachers were somewhat better and she was finally starting to feel like someone cared about her. Some of her friends may even say that grade 9 was the best year of school they've ever went through. She agreed. Then grade 10 came along, it was full of drama and funny bits. Her over the top, stressed out science teacher was always the laughing stock of the school. It was one of her happier school years, for not having that BITCH in ANY of her classes. Thank God. Then summer came along, oh how she dreaded that. Summer school scared the pants off of her. She cried, stayed up 'til precisely 3 AM, watching some lame anime called Peach Girl. Then she realized that summer school wasn't the most horrible of things. Her teacher practically gave them answers. Well, it sure felt that way.

And then she met a boy who would change everything...

Suicide Circle? Creepy? Fuck no.

It is important that I describe to you which movie I saw.
It was about mass suicide, in none other than Japan. The opening scene displays 54 high school students, holding hands and getting ready to jump in front of a train. The scene itself wasn't gory or disgusting but the message can be easily deemed a disturbing one.

The movie didn't scare me at all. Confusion may have gotten in the way of fear. Same thing happened to me when I saw Ju-On, another Japanese horror flick. I was too busy trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Never mind being scared. It's okay though. It's better not to be scared and stay up all night thinking horrible thoughts that could never come true. Paranoia can be evil D:

I should get back into the whole horror movie scene. Ahh... but I need a buddy. Marine used to be my horror film buddy. We would laugh and snicker at the site of bad acting and people screaming for their pathetic lives in mainstream horror movies. I saw The Ring in French with her. She was scared and I wasn't. I kept making fun of the damn thing. Then we got interested in the original Japanese movie that inspired The Ring, RINGU. That actually scared me, but not enough to make me wet my pants and cry to mommy.

The one horror movie I refuse to watch though... is well.. I rather not mention it. Just thinking about it freaks my me out and sends me to an instant state of mind where I constantly fear for my soul. Yes, my soul. If you know me well and you're smart, you'll know which movie I'm talking about. God bless you.


Now another thing I'd like to adress is why the hell there hasn't been a good horror movie out in recent years? The only ones that are actually memorable are the Ring and The Grudge. People actually remember those. There's also the SAW franchise, but who gives a fuck about those anyway? I heard the last movie was terrible, and apparently they're making a 5th one. Oh well.

I still need to feed my Audrey Hepburn phase, but the place where I rent movies only has two of her movies: Roman Holiday and Breakfast at Tiffany's. I saw both and I WANT MORE.

This is why I included the Audrey Hepburn DVD set in my Wishlist for this Holiday's season. :)
I want it and I'll get it. D:<

Short and Sweet.

That's all I can about the video my boyfriend sent me. The home is so nicely decorated. Looks like the ideal place to relax and have a good time with your family. Makes me rethink the way I want to decorate my future house. :o

In other news, Canada still hasn't won an Olympic Medal. I think I'm going to give up.

SO FAR AWAY... SO FAR AWAY...

Ahhhh, summer time, the time for a nice long and needed trip with your loved ones.

My boyfriend left yesterday and is now in Morocco. He'll be back in roughly a month and I was relieved to know that his plane landed safely. We'll be able to chat and make video calls. He told me it's going to be like we're internet dating. Ahhhh! Nooo!

I can't believe he's actually far away from me... and it's going to be like this for a month. I'm just hoping that I don't screw up and say something stupid on msn messenger and then we'll get into a MEGA argument. ;_; I REALLY DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN. I know it won't, it just can't. I WON'T LET IT HAPPEN. D:< YA HEAR?!

I can't believe he spent 9 hours thinking about me. NINE FREAKING HOURS! Ahh well, he still has to beat me. I thought about him for like... 5 days. A very sad five days as well, because that's when I was in Prince Edward Island. The weather was disappointing, I got my period, threw up and suffered with PAINFUL and AGONIZING cramps. It can suck having a vagina sometimes.
The trip wasn't all that bad. I ate a lot of Cows Ice cream (Mmmmm chocolate mint), saw the Mummy III: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (which kinda sucked), ate some good seafood (Mmmm scallops, shrimps... no smoked salmon though) oh and I even got to see Breakfast at Tifanny's! Awesome movie, Audrey Hepburn is a master of the silver screen. :D My father was kind enough to get me her breakthrough movie, Roman Holiday! I still need to watch it, but I'm too busy thinking about my loooooverrrr. <3333

Have a good one, you're going to need it.

I wanna take you on a roller coaster...

Eh not really, seeing as I am afraid of DYING at a young age on those unstable things. I'm leaving tomorrow for Prince Edward Island. It will be my third time and boy will it be more fun than the previous two times because my brother isn't coming! ;D

That makes me very happy because now I can truly relax and have a REAL vacation. He can stay at home and do nothing, let the house rot and so on.

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend! We went shoe shopping! For him of course. He needed the perfect shoes for his perfect car, which he luckily found thanks to me for showing him Spring which used to be TRANSIT. I don't know why they changed the name but oh well. It's a great shoe store and I love it!

I'm going to miss him... I just hope that when I come back I can spend two or three lovely days with him. Then I'll be emailing my way for a full month. That will be fun, I get to exercise my writing skills. xD

I'm in a reading mood.

That's right. Ever since I got my hands on gossip girl I felt the need to read... IT'S INSANE. I actually wanted to go to the library instead of seeing a movie. Speaking of which, I saw Journey to the Center of the Earth starring Brendan Fraser. He's a Canadian actor and also the star of the Mummy movies. He's fun to watch when comedy is involved. Anyways, the movie itself was an amusing roller coaster ride if I say so myself. I haven't worn 3D glasses since that field trip in 6th grade to Centre des Sciences de Montreal.

I hated 6th grade, fucking mean kids. I hope they're all getting laid by kids with STDs. srsly. Fucking bastards. Made my last two years of elementary school a living hell. I didn't know kids could be so judgmental, so rude, so oblivious to how they should behave.

Back in my day, actually, back in Saint-John kids acted like kids. They talked about shows kids would watch and laughed all the time at penis and vagina jokes. When I got here it was like a forbidden thing to act like kid. I remember watching a sex ed. video in 6th grade. I honestly thought the thing was hilarious. Yes, I'm an immature brat and fuck it if I laughed at the tape. The kids were looking at me as if I was some lunatic. Well excuse me for being an 11 year old who acts like a fucking 11 year old. I hate it when kids try to act like they're fucking 15 year olds. They need to realize that they're never going to able to be the little spoiled brats they could of been without any consequences. Oh well, I lived my childhood pretty well. I played with boys, Nintendo was the best shit ever and my imagination always shined through when I played with my toys and Barbies.

Being different can fucking suck but in the end you're a winner because you are being yourself. Why fit in a crowd that's just going to push you around just because you think khakis are cool and they don't.

ANYWAYS... I really feel like reading. I think I'll just go reread gossip girl vol 1 and 2. Hopefully my cheap ass dad will get me the third one soon or maybe my lovely library will have it. Let's hope some other preteen didn't take the third volume. Somehow, I feel like it's important to know what happens in the lives of fictional rich Manhattan kids, ya know?

WHY

She screamed it loud and clear. No one heard her. She was devastated. Her son died in her arms. She kept on screaming "WHY? WHY? WHY?"
She did not understand the meaning of all of this. Her heart was torn, her son was gone. All she had struggled for, all she fought for... it was all for him. She loved him very much. It was all she had left.

With him gone, she wondered what it would take to ease her pain. Nothing more than a peaceful rest with her son. She shot herself and joined him. There they were, up the heavens, where they belonged...

Fuck I'm scared all of a sudden... like they're right here...

Embraced by the stars tonight too

Oh... what a lovely evening spent in the cozyness of my boyfriend's TV room and especially his arms. We watched a bit of Dirty Dancing and Ghost, held each other, said romantic things and all I could do was gaze at his new haircut telling myself "God, he's beautiful."

He said he wanted to marry me and I said that I wanted to start a family with him. Love... it's such a beautiful thing. I really did not want to leave him tonight. I didn't want to stop holding him and kissing him... oh it was so nice and perfect. I loved it all.

gossip girl: my new obsession

When I was in Toronto we went to a bookstore and I decided that I was going to read something this summer. I decided to pick gossip girl because I already saw the TV series so I told myself that it would be easier for me to imagine things as I read the novel. The moment I started reading, I just couldn't put it down. I finished the first one in less than 3 days. My dad already bought me the second one on our second day in the city. I guess I felt rushed to finish the first one to get the second.

Anyways... I really love it and the weird part is that my dad doesn't mind spending 108$ or so for the remaining 9 books. He's just happy to see me read so quickly and happily! (even though the book is raunchy, catty and totally not his style) he doesn't give a fuck. I could be reading some erotic novel and he still wouldn't mind!

:) I can't wait to get the third one.

Korneil

Korneil was young lad with a body full of fat, as if he was begging his peers to make fun of is horrendous physique. The 10 year old chump had two odd friends: Trevor, the boy with the contagious laugh and Georgina, a somewhat shy lass who seems to wonder she's friends with these two buffoons.

Korneil took advantage of the nice weather his town was blessed with by going on a peaceful bike ride with his two friends. Korneil rarely did so because he was so ashamed of how he looked like. So many kids made fun of him one day for sweating so much during his presentation about ligers and cobras fighting each other on reality TV.
He couldn't handle the harsh judgments. Every laugh, every jab at his fatness has evidently cursed his mind. After so much disrespect towards who is, he truly believes that he'll die alone. At age 10, that's a really hard thing to believe in.

His friends could care less though. They were his friend because they were totally aware of the treats and great meals Korneil receives. They're all healthy meals, it's the large portion that Korneil demands that explains his overweight physique. And he could care less. Korneil knew that Trevor only made him laugh to please and gain more good food. The gastropod also knew that Georgina recently got in a fight with her former best friend Rini and couldn't stand being alone, so she sought comfort in the big chump. Neither one of them cared for Korneil and on one sad day it truly showed...

A few weeks after his 11th birthday, the poor boy died due to a heart attack. Trevor and Georgina were not in sight at his funeral. His parents were ashamed. He had no friends and died alone.

Monday was a good day

I had a nice morning, dreamed a little and forgot what it was about but I certainly remember enjoying it. I stayed cozy in my bed after waking up until my stomach grew weary and begged for food. I ate leftover pasta. It was delicious as always and it feels as if I'm the only one trying to finish the last of what's left of it.

I spent most of the day on Gaia. Not a single moment was spent in front of the tube. After getting bored with Gaia, I decided it was best to finish a brilliant movie called Notes on a Scandal. I loved it so much that I had to absolutely make my boyfriend witness its greatness. Once again, he felt that it was too long but a good piece of entertainment, the intelligent kind anyway.

Afterwards, we swam in his almost clean pool. Barely did much in there anyways, just enjoyed each other's presence and kissed many times. His eyes, his look... intimidated me. It was as if he held so much power over me. I loved it... makes me feel like I'm dating a romantic bad boy: one who his cold towards his friends and family yet heartwarming towards the one woman he loves and longs to be with most.

Soon after, we settled down in his bedroom and I did something extraordinary to him. He was very pleased and so was I. For once, we were both happy with how things went. I'm glad.


I'm going to miss him over the next few days. Being away from him for too long can sometimes make me go insane...

NEVER AGAIN shall I go out with my parents.

I swear to God, I cannot do shit with my parents. They just don't know what the fuck they want or what the hell they're doing. It's very sad I tells ya. A week ago, they were telling me how we were going to go to Quebec and visit an art museum. I'm like "Alright! This'll be fun!"

We never went. :| Because my mother wasn't feeling well and thought that strawberry picking might be better. I then tell her "Why would you want to go strawberry picking? You have to work for that. In a museum you don't even do anything, you just walk around and appreciate art." She just stared at my blankly because she's a fucking idiot as we all know it.

So today they tried to redeem themselves by going downtown Montreal to see the Jazz Festival. I decided to go because I love music and the city. So I go there right? and it takes fucking long to do shit because my mother is like a peeing machine. The sad thing is that we have to always follow her to wait for her because she's afraid of going by herself. I told her "Mom, you're an adult. Why can't you go alone? I want to stay and listen to the music."

GAHHHH... and she just forces me to come with her. She's effin' retarded.
And my dad just looks stupid because he's always following my mom's orders. It's sad, really.

The only good thing about this day is... WAIT THERE ISN'T ANYTHING GOOD. THIS DAY SUCKED.

In the end all we did was briefly listen to one tiny show and went to China town for nothing. I hate them. Wasted my fucking time.

When we got home, my parents told me to look at my report card. I passed everything so far. All I have to do is wait for the Minister report card and I'll be good. :D

Of course my idiot of a father didn't understand shit. I explained him many times and yet he yells me for talking to him as if he were a moron. It's because is he a moron. So can he kiss my ass. Fucking faggot.

Afterwards I called my boyfriend asking him to come with me downtown because my parents actually said yes... yet he said no. He can't because he needs to purchase books for his summer school lessons. I was very sad. I wanted to make his last day a memorable one by spending time with him downtown Montreal. I was so sad that I started crying on my pillow... I really want to see him.

I don't want it to end

I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to end.

I love you too much for it to end.

あなたがここにいる理由

Now that I listen to this song I finally realize how much I truly love you. This song just sends me back to that time where snow would fall, we were getting to know each other and I would stare at you at a distance as you went inside your bus wearing that gorgeous winter coat of yours.

Despite getting in arguments, I just can't see myself without you. I don't care if we argue all the time. I rather be with you than anyone else because I know deep down you'll love me no matter what. I mean, you just can't stay angry at someone who'll always love you. Time can't make this love fade away, it only makes it stronger.

You may have felt like it was dying, but I begged to differ. I don't have any doubts about us, I can't have any doubts. If a day came where you would see yourself leaving me, tell yourself this: I'd never let you hear the end of it. Why? Because I love you so much. I don't want you to leave me for issues that can be solved by expressing how we feel. We didn't spend all this time together to just throw it all away. We're different from other couples, I know we are.

These songs I listen to just help me think and express myself. I love them and they truly speak to me. I cried a lot tonight and I don't even know why. But I know that there is always somewhere solid for me. I go through rough times and in the end, it all works out. I don't know how, it just happens. I guess that's how life is for me. Together, we can build a beautiful life, future, and family. Wouldn't that be nice? We talked about it so much already, why not make it a reality in a few years?

I love you...

3 in the morning...

Listening to music and nothing more. I missed staying up late and doing things I long to do during the day. It's nice and quiet and the perfect time to play The Sims 2. I started a Legacy Challenge and I am quite pleased with the great start that I got! It's going to be great. :3

My boyfriend is amazing. He photoshopped one of our prom pictures and the moment I saw it all fear, sadness and anger I had just went away for a good 5 minutes. It's probably the most beautiful picture I've seen in my life. (so far)

It's flawless I tell ya! FLAWLESS!

Thank you so much~

I hope I lose contact with my parents in the near future.

And I'm not saying that for the heck of it. I'm saying it because I realize how much they don't trust me with my boyfriend. They have no respect for who I am dating and of course who I plan to spend the rest of my life with. They basically laugh at our love. It annoys me. I asked them many times to be honest with me but they keep on hiding their true feelings through lame ass punishments and restrictions.

I long to be free from their grip. My mother hasn't seen her parents in 20 years and not by choice. But I am making this choice and I know that it's for the best because I know that I don't want people who don't support this relationship to attend my wedding. My older brother on the other hand is more than welcome to stay in my life. We've been through a lot but hey now that he's 20 years old, has a job and many hobbies I can see that he really does care and support me. I love him so much.

LOL NO SCHOOL

Today was great, there was no school due to the storm that caused a major blackout in many neighborhoods. Mine wasn't affected though.

We walked around, swam in his pool and did I mention that I got a sexy haircut? :D I love it and so do my friends! AND HIM OF COURSE. ;D He kept saying that I was sexy, gorgeous, beautiful... it was nice to hear! I love it when he looks at me with those lovely eyes of his.

While I was in his pool, he was cleaning it and he looked so handsome! I don't know how to say it, there was something about him that looked so great. Well, I think that he always looks great! he just can't accept the truth.

I love you baby, I don't see why you have to hold back, you can touch me, kiss me and hold me however you want. Just remember to balance talking/appreciating and the sexual stuff! ;)

My sweetheart.... ♥

Oh God, how I miss him so! I can't stop thinking about him, he's just too important to me now. We've been through so much together, good and bad! The bond is stronger than ever and will continue growing as we learn more about each other with every passing moment of love and endearment.

Today was a pain for me, I can't spend a day without him...
It may sound corny, but now I know how it feels to be away from someone you love so much!
I can't even sleep right now, I just can't stop thinking about him! AHHHHH, THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE! I WANT TO BE IN HIS ARMS! D:
I know that he came over this evening for an hour and 15 minutes, but that didn't suffice!

All I have been doing today is suffer under the scorching heat and listening to あなたがここにいる理由 by Rie fu. It's the same song that I wouldn't stop listening to when I first met him and started falling in love with him. I guess I'm falling in love with him again seeing as I am constantly playing it! It's just a beautiful piece of musical art. The melody, the beat, the atmosphere...

I miss you so much.

'CAUSE THIS IS THRILLERRRRR D:<

I never actually took the time to listen to Michael Jackson's music, but now that I have I realize how amazing he is. He's made such a great contribution to the world of music, hell.. art in general! The dancing, the singing, the style of his clothes and hair! He's truly iconic and remains one of the greatest artists to have ever walked the earth.

My favorite song by him would most likely be Beat It. I love the guitar riffs and that superb solo that can be heard at the bridge of the hit single. The energy in his vocals are quite bone chilling as well.

It's a shame that he doesn't release new material. Despite that fact, his music never gets old and can be heard anywhere and are recognized in an instant!

SATURDAY?

Yesterday it was hot, sunny and boy did I sure have fun at my boyfriend's house! His family was present and they were quite nice. I met his father for the first time and I think he's a gregarious fellow. At first I was obviously nervous, fearing that I might screw things up but all went well! :)

My boyfriend got a haircut by his older brother and I have to say... HE LOOKS GRRREEEEAT!~
Makes him look manlier, more powerful. Hell, I was intimidated at first. O__O;; Afterwards he showed me something quite special. I was being my shy self again, but I eventually got over it pretty fast. My gestures towards it made him quite happy! WELL I HOPE YOU WERE HAPPY. I felt like I was doing it all wrong. AHHH WELL... XD

Later on in the afternoon, we swam together in his lovely heated underground pool! It was quite refreshing! I didn't swim for a long period of time, I feel like there's some catching up to do! I loved it when he held me from behind...

AHHH

Today is the day that I do my French debate. I AM NERVOUS.. OH MY GOD... HOW NERVOUS I CAN BE! if I screw this up I won't graduate. THERE'S SO MUCH FUCKING PRESSURE HERE. It's kill me actually! D:

I'm praying to God that I do well, so well that I PASS! I know the subject, I know what to say, I'm just worried that when the time finally comes to answer those badly formulated questions I'll forget what to say. THIS IS KILLING ME, JUST THE THOUGHT OF IT!

*NERVOUSNERVOUSNERVOUSNERVOUS*

*dies*

X___x

Day 2

Day 2 meaning day 2 with no Gaia. I honestly feel better now that I'm ceasing all visits to that site. I'll obviously be coming back and have a different approach on it.

Today is going to be a nice school day but after that I'll be doing many things for Friday! I have the work on the French debate, my history paper, study for a math and FPS exam and prepare a presentation for FPS too. @__@ Will I do any of it? Uh... sure why not. Seeing as I don't go on Gaia Online anymore, I'll have enough time to do them all.

This is my plan for this evening:

4:30 PM to 5 PM: Begin work on history paper
5:30 PM to 6 PM: Finish work on history paper
8 PM to 9 PM: Work on French debate

WOW. THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN. Seriously. I'm actually looking forward to seeing if I can pull this crap off. I'll try to get ahead at school (if I can), that'd be great actually. I really hope I can finish all of this.

Last night scared me

I did something wrong.
Careless and wrong.
I wasn't being considerate or honest with myself.
Fake, faggot, stupid, dumb, oblivious, ignorant can describe the lewd demeanor that I opted last night. He was being trenchant and he wasn't going let anything stay in his mind. All was coming out and no feelings were spared. After much effort and consideration, a discussion emerged and a rather good problem solving was the conclusion. I was still sad. I was angry at myself. Once again, I let the one person I'd give away my life for down. I just love him so much. He really knows how to take good care of me. I feel like the more time I spend with him the more I become a better person. I learn so many valuable lessons with him, it's amazing really. He truly makes me try harder to better my disposition in life.

January 12th, 2008

"An Evening to remember" is all I can say to myself. I kissed him many times and I enjoyed every single moment of it. At first it left me unemotional, I felt nothing inside of me, no feeling of right or wrong but after the first I felt more into it and very pleased. As we kissed, I noticed how soft his lips were, it felt very comforting.

I wrote that small message in my diary January 12th, 2008. I remember that night so well because it was the very first time I actually experienced my first romantic kisses. Now that I look back on it, I realize how much improvement has come upon my way of kissing. The one who receives them as told me himself that I've gotten much better and that truly eases the mind. Knowing that I kiss well is a pretty neat thing. I don't have to worry about not making him feel good and obviously, loved!

You know what, he kisses quite well himself! ;)

Paul's Case Thesis

*This is my thesis that I wrote for my English class, I got 100% on it. :D I was very pleased about that. It was predicated on the short story entitled Paul's Case by Willa Cather.


Paul's Case proved to be compelling story of one boy's dream life and the consequences that came with it. He was obsessed with money, truly believing that money is all that there is for the world to endlessly struggle for. Believing this plausible theory led the poor boy to a world of fame and riches for a brief period of time. He was intoxicated by the sheer delight of a high class life. One can imagine that life is nothing more than a game but when money is the main goal one would do just about anything to earn a victory. Of course in Paul's Case he cheats his way through by stealing money to escape the life that he loathed. His runaway plan to New York City allowed him to finally experience his deepest fantasies until the end of his days.

Paul's thought "This was what all the world was fighting for, he reflected, this was what all the struggle was about." invites one to ponder is true meaning. Why does one attend their classes? To learn? To better their knowledge? The latter can be taken into consideration, but there is the evident conclusion that school is only in the existence for future money making. Without a proper education, one can find it difficult to earn some cash. Paul couldn't picture himself without luxurious things surrounding him. His mind could not comprehend that a life based on artificial belongings wasn't the greatest choice.

He never appreciated what he already had. It was all meaningless to him because a poor amount of money was involved.

I've come to realize that I highly enjoy typing (even though I'm not fast and agile like most). I hope this blog keeps me happy and considerably occupied for a while. I have nothing better to do.

School is coming to a close and the summer air is gently settling in. Many eager students desire for the school year to end as quickly as possible and I think their wish is coming true. Classes today were cut short due to a power surge causing a vast amount of students to scream (they were just being tiny jokers) I was a bit scared, I thought something awful was going to occur. Of course, there was nothing else to dramatize the dark scenery. It was just pitch black and nothing more. A bit boring after a certain while, I find. We then all went outside and waited for the message we've all wanted to hear "Go inside and take your belongings, school is dismissed."

You know, this is the second time school is dismissed in the afternoon at the end of the school year. I'm wondering if anything in this particular fashion will once again occur to complete our little trilogy of minor school dramas. I do find it a bit exciting when everyone is outside wondering what the bloody hell is going on! xD

Now that I think about it, if something else does happen what will become of those who missed exams? or presentations? Will they make us do those after our final exams? If I don't get a chance to do my presentation in FPS then I'll have to do it Friday after my final French exam (that'll be a joy to do -- NOT)

I have to say, I'm really enjoying this whole blog thing. It's fun to type and to explore how we voice our opinions. :)